The world could use a little more impulsivity. Or, at least, I could benefit from thinking less and doing more.
You see, looking back at myself over the years and in recent memory, I’ve always been prone to playing things safe and avoiding surprises; it’s an environment where I can control my anxiety without fear of what other people will think of a particular outcome.
A notable finding for me from the last year or so is that you don’t get rid of problems, you simply trade them for other, “better” problems. Compared to myself a year ago, I wouldn’t be any more certain that problems get better as you move forward. The bottom rung of the ladder gives you certainty that there is a way up and out of whatever you’re stuck in; the rung in the clouds can be desolate and lonely.
It’s almost laughable that in so many small ways, I’ve already fulfilled my aspirations from the past and am well on my way to other goals I’ve set. At times, it’s almost like recounting a classic movie. It’s important for me to remind myself of that; it’s a tough position to feel like your run is done because you don’t know where to go next.
These days, there are two voices in my head. One says “make a plan and stick to it” and the other says “stop resisting so much—just move with it all.” It’s hard to say which is right, especially given the polarities they represent. It’s isn’t always easy to know what we want.
I suppose that it all comes back to being right here, to finding eternity in this moment. Being happy with where I am, and being fulfilled with those around me. A happy, meaningful life doesn’t have to be complicated—we just act like it does.
“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.”
~ Henry David Thoreau