What would our lives look like if not for the conditioning we received as children, which shaped our preferences and set us in certain ways, often without being presented with a full spectrum of options and possibilities? Temporarily ignoring the things that we might have done instead of our current routines, let’s focus on the habits that are so ingrained in our everyday lives, but that deep-down we feel might not be the best for us.
You probably know the things I’m talking about, they’re the behaviours and habits that we do because they’re easy, comfortable, and familiar. The things that, left to our own devices as children, we wouldn’t have picked up (no pun intended).
The blame doesn’t sit squarely on whoever raised us either, as our condition is better described as the byproduct of the influence of society and all its components around us. Most of these parties acted with the best of intentions, but were deceiving nonetheless when it comes to what is truly best for us. You see, we were not raised to be happy or peaceful above all things. While those are hopefully significant points of focus in every child’s development, balance, which at times is shoved down our throats ad nauseam, is stressed as a guiding principle. “Don’t do X without Y” or “don’t neglect A while you pursue B”.
Again, these statements are almost always made with good intention, but good intention should not be the criteria by which we select behaviours and habits, especially when their influence can linger for decades. When it comes to being happy and peaceful, we should live recklessly. We should become obsessed and commit ourselves to whatever brings about the best in us, because the actions that bring out the best versions of ourselves are almost always inherently good for those around us and society as a collective, even if arriving at such a state inflicts a feeling of momentary offense for others.
It’s often not even a conscious choice in how we allocate time to other pursuits or activities. While we’re somewhat ignorant to the effects of an addiction while within its grasp, we can catch a glimpse of a bigger picture when we step outside of regular routine for a while. Detaching from normal life, we see our activities for what they really are: nourishing and life-giving or empty, addictive, and void of lasting happiness.
Reflecting on our lives through this new lens, we can begin to broaden our scope of possibilities while simultaneously narrowing our scope of focus to the select few things that really, truly matter. Start first by breaking the habit, and then ask yourself “what will lead me to the life I want – what habits and beliefs can I drop today to bring happiness to the surface of my life?”