My greatest fear is not embarrassment, ridicule, betrayal, or rejection. Not uncertainty, pain, or even death.
My greatest fear, as simple and unthreatening as it sounds, is regret.
Not a day goes by that I am not reminded of the brevity of this life, and how fleeting the joys of each moment are. Life exists in this moment not as a problem to be solved or a journey to be ventured, but rather, as an experience to be had.
While still very much in the youth of my life, I have come to realize just how quickly time passes, and if not fully embraced, how distant our experience of day-to-day life can appear.
Raised in a state of constant over-consumption, we take the most basic and fundamental aspects of life for granted. The clean air we breathe and the water we drink; the unrestricted access to food, shelter, and clothing; the peace and security of not wondering if the next fighter jet overhead will be the last thing we see. All the goodness that exists around us is taken for granted, and I believe that lack of gratitude is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness in our culture today.
In my own life, there have been far too many incredible experiences that were over before I knew it, leaving me only to reflect on the opportunity that was.
In one regard, the inevitability of the end of this magical experience causes me a great deal of sadness and anxiety. Knowing that going to bed one night, I might never wake again. On the other hand, acknowledging that this life as we know it is finite is perhaps the most liberating truth we will ever know. With nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, we might as well experience everything that life has to offer, and in the process, unite our true self across the world through love and compassion.
In many ways, life can be considered a tragedy. All that is accomplished upon this earth will ultimately stay here. Death, being the great equalizer, will come for us all at some point.
In light of death, letting go of attachment is the way to a life of freedom. Surrendering control signifies the acceptance of reality and the willingness to encounter the unknown.
In recent days, I have really been focusing on taking in my surroundings and noticing the subtle details in my environment. In the morning, before touching my phone or checking my email, I sit undistracted and turn my attention to the singing birds, the swaying trees, and the warm sun that glistens on my skin. As pretentious as it sounds, I have no desire to do anything else in that moment. I am truly like a child, as if everything I am hearing, seeing, and feeling is a completely new and foreign experience.
When I experience that, I wonder how I so frequently overlook the simplest things. When you think about the odds of being born, 1 in 400 trillion, how can this life be considered anything but the greatest miracle of all, and the greatest opportunity of all? And me, living out this unique life, fail to grasp the point of it time after time.
I understand that there is an unfathomable amount of suffering in the world, and by all accounts I’ve had an exceptionally easy life, so by no means do I look to demean anyone’s situation or experience. What I’m simply suggesting is that what we all fail to see, at almost all times, is that reality is gorgeous. In its most basic form, nature is a celebration.
All I ask of you is to really consider the ephemeral nature of this life, and think about what you want the synopsis, the final chapter, and the final stanza to be in the book of your life. If you were to die tomorrow, what would today look like? What fear would you confront? What truth would you tell? How would you treat others?
That all sounds ridiculous when in the context of an 80-year life, but right now is all there will ever be. The judgement that exists today, the fear that plagues us, and the things that distract us and consume our time don’t matter at the end of this life. When our lives have ended, none of that holds any weight or importance.
The real moments of clarity in life are few and far between, so fully embrace it when you’re in it. Let go of everything, and hold nothing back! Don’t let fear stop you from speaking your truth, because this is it, this is life.
Death is on my trail, and life is fleeting away; teach me something with which to face these troubles. Bring it to pass that I shall cease trying to escape from death, and that life may cease to escape from me. Give me courage to meet hardships; make me calm in the face of the unavoidable. Relax the straitened limits of the time which is allotted me. Show me that the good in life does not depend upon life’s length, but upon the use we make of it; also, that it is possible, or rather usual, for a man who has lived long to have lived too little. Say to me when I lie down to sleep: “You may not wake again!” And when I have waked: “You may not go to sleep again!” Say to me when I go forth from my house: “You may not return!” And when I return: “You may never go forth again!”
— Seneca